After reading a great piece by author and emotional intelligence guru Travis Bradberry, titled How Successful People Quash Stress, it occurred to me that, generally, advice articles can be placed into ‘DO’ and ‘DO NOT’ categories. Applying these categories, Bradberry’s takeaways could be summarized in the following way:
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DO Say ‘No’ when you need toAppreciate what you have Detach from work-related communication Get enough sleep Exercise Practice mindfulness |
DO NOT Focus on what could have happenedConsume too much caffeine Hold grudges Fight for every issue Engage in negative self-talk |
These lists provide insight on how to control our impulses and act with intention – while we may be drawn towards that second cup of coffee or get wrapped up in an office feud, we can help ourselves by focusing on cultivating good habits and striving for wellness.
On the topic of impulse and intention, author and pastor Andy Stanley has developed an approach that builds on the ideas discussed by Bradberry and helps us go beyond categorizing behaviours under DO or DO NOT labels. In his book, The Principle of the Path, he discusses the concepts of attention, direction, and destination and their application in many areas of life. His premise: Your attention determines your direction, and your direction determines your destination.
ATTENTION
Stanley maintains that we divide our attention in two ways: our attention is grabbed or captivated by something or we give or pay attention. In other words, we either let our attention be guided by impulse or we direct it intentionally. Consider the two columns above from Bradberry’s article. Re-categorized using Stanley’s concepts, they might look like this:
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Things That Grab My Attention RegretCaffeine addiction Anger, resentment Pride, self-importance Poor self-esteem |
Things That Need My Attention My sense of self-worthCultivating gratefulness My family and friends My physical health My mental health |
DIRECTION
The idea that attention determines direction is nothing new, it’s why we warn kids to watch where they’re going, or tell drivers (not always so gently) to focus on the road. We know that where the eyes go, the feet will follow.
Stanley continuously makes this seemingly obvious (yet easy to ignore) point: your direction, or your path, determines your destination. If you want to be fit, but you never exercise and ‘treat yourself’ daily, you won’t get fit. We can’t expect the results we desire if we don’t follow a path that will lead us there.
DESTINATION
Our life is full of destinations. What do we want to get done today? Where do we want to be in five years? What do we want written on our tombstone? Whether our destination goals are tangible (financial savings, adventure travel, early retirement) or intangible (great relationships, career expertise, spiritual fulfillment), it’s important to think about what they are, and how to get there.
FINDING THE PATH
Leaning on Bradberry’s article one last time, we can think about reduced stress as a destination. Most of the DO and DO NOT advice he offers is not surprising – we can see what we should focus our attention on, what we should steer our attention away from, and how those choices will lead to stress reduction. Given this path, we can check in with ourselves whenever we feel an impulse and ask: Will this lead me to where I need to be?
Stanley’s advice boils down to this thought: The small things matter. Maintaining attention matters. Intentionality matters. If we want to get to our desired destinations, we need to be aware of how we divide our attention, and how that guides our direction. Every time we lose our attention (when our intention is to give it somewhere else), we delay getting to our destination. In other words, take the path that leads you where you want to go.
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